just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
