I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
