its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was confusing and full of hummus
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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