He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
