come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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