just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
