I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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