I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
