He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just got carded by a ten year old.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize