I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
