i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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