you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
