I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we should paint friendship bongs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
