I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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