um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
