she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize