i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
