i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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