oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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