Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
should my penis look like a turkey
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
