remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
