Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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