Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
