To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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