I wannas sexs uuuuu
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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