so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She's the barista slut.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize