Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
