they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
