Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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