Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize