Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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