Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
