I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
