By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
