I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
