For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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