i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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