im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
