But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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