You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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