she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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