Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
