i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
