No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
