I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
only if we run a train.
done.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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