Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
