Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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