Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
