you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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