No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
