I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
