i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
