the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
