I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
