I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
