I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
