Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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