i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
