24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
